After five long years of misery and anticipation, he’s finally here. I can’t believe that my one true love is back home with me for a week. So far it has been nothing less than perfect, I am so beyond lucky to have such a great guy to be in love with. We pulled an all nighter, looked at the stars, watched the subset, he cooked me breakfast and surprised me with a gift while we were shopping and I was trying on dresses. I honestly don’t know if I’m gonna be able to stand another goodbye, but as for now I’m cherishing every moment we spend together, falling even more in love with the man of my dreams.


My brother killed himself
on the twenty-eighth Thursday of last year
and I missed four days of work
and my mom wanted to know ‘Why’.
My brother
he was always a fan of beauty
but what he did
was not beautiful at all.

And last week I got the news
that one of my good friends from high school
had overdosed
except this time
she’d gone too far
and now she was gone.
And I had a hard time falling asleep at night
and her mother
hugged me tight
and thanked me for coming to the service
but I did not
want to be there at all.
This is not

The girl down the street
would’ve turned 21 last year
and I can scarcely imagine
the wild times she would’ve
But she is buried six feet deep
after falling nearly 300
and she did not leave a note.
This is not

My freshman year of college
and my roommate was beautiful
and how I wanted to be just like her.
But she wore herself down
till she was
almost invisible
and if you blinked
you had to go and find her all over again.
So now her parents are no longer supporting her college tuition
but are paying her hospital bills
watching their daughter crumble.
This is not

So y’all can take your narcissistic
and glamorizing
of self harm and eating disorders and committing suicide
and shove them as far up your ass
as you possibly can.
Starvation is not beautiful.
Killing yourself is not beautiful.
is not beautiful.
This note I am writing
is not beautiful.

But you
you are beautiful
and it’s about damn time you start believing it.

― (via runiqu)

The next time you want my hands in your hair, just remember that I won’t be there.

The next time your lips crave to be kissed, remember the chance that you missed.

The next time your body aches to be held, don’t forget that you put me through hell.

The next time you’re hurt and crying out for me, I’ll stand back and watch you bleed.

― s.l. (via thoseconstellations)